Zero Dollar Man
Like everyone, I have been listening to Cameron Winters's album Heavy Metal. I think he has such a beautiful voice- kind of too goofy and playful at times but I’ve found myself really enjoying this album. The song I'm writing about this morning is the 9th song on the album- $0. I was listening to it intently as I was getting ready and I realized it's actually deep as hell… and I think it's a masterpiece. It has grown to be one of my favorite songs on the record, it has hauntingly beautiful piano chords and the lyrics just strike my heart.
“You're making me feel like a dollar in your hand
You're making me feel like I'm a zero-dollar man”
Being taken for granted sucks to put it short. To be treated like a crumpled-up dollar shoved in the bottom of someone's purse - it's an awful feeling. Knowing the value of that dollar is still there- but it's pushed away or set aside and in a way its value becomes lost. Until the person who owns the dollar finds it again and decides to utilize its value by spending it. I mean there's not much you can get with a dollar anyway- and if you've already had a wallet full of 20s why would you need a measly dollar? Certainly, though, you wouldn’t throw this dollar away- money is money- love is love.
How do you deal with being taken for granted? Do you just hope that one day you'll be taken from the bottom of the purse and your value or what you have to offer will be appreciated? These words just paint so softly what it's like to offer / put your everything towards something but have it be overlooked. Maybe you didn't put in the time or all of the effort to deserve a place in the wallet- maybe you were never meant to be more than a dollar to that person. The piano melody that follows his words portrays just how disheartening this feeling is.
“I had my hand over my mouth and I watched the moon over New Jersey”
Maybe Cameron Winter is better than me- I can never put my hand over my mouth and just sit with disappointment or heartache. I always feel the need to use up all my breath explaining myself. But maybe it is better to just sit with things and watch the moon.
“God is real
God is real
I'm not kidding
God is actually real
I'm not kidding this time I think God
is actually for real God is real
God is actually real God is real
I wouldn't joke about this
I'm not kidding this time”
These are the final lyrics of the song and I mean yeah sometimes things push you so far you just have to believe in something- or lean on a god to make sense of things. Whenever I find myself searching for answers I go to mass. I'm not really religious - but I find some of the messages to be honest and guiding. Also the old churches in Philadelphia are just so beautiful- and I love hearing the choir and the organ. This song like a religious awakening its so good.
To end this word dump I’d like to pull attention to the final two minutes of the song- it makes my eyes water. The piano is just so beautiful and it sounds like a dream- it’s magical almost. The perfect melody to listen to if you just need to sit with something for a moment.